Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. This answer is correct because the best responses to "how are you" should contain an adverb. 13. Are you going to help me have a good day? 35 Best Texts to Respond to a Date that has Ghosted You Aeldrion 5 yr. ago. Are those space pants? He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Your secrets are always safe with me. In My Phone or On My Phone Which is Correct? Just Smile And Nod 1. 4. 1. Ah, sarcasm. 3. You are shocked by his/her response, and you respond angrily "but what about me?". My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! 30. Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. Sort of. If this is the person youre talking to, just insure them that you are aware they are not away from their phone. Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. via: Pexels / George Pak. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Why do you ask? If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. Mentally? Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. 100+ Funny Things to Ask Alexa (with its Hilarious Responses) - ITTVIS Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. Not Bad. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. It doesn't mean that you don't actually take showers. Thats why Im single. If I had a tail, I'd wag it. Financially? Plotting how Im going to take over the world. Maybe you can Google it. What? [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. Im jealous of people who dont know you. I'm glad to know that you're alive.". Click here for additional information. 17. 12. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? Just look what happened there! Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. Same thing youre doing, talking to you now. *sips wine/tea*. Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. 101. Congrats, guys! Im always there when I need me. 82. Youre not going to use the same response to your dad as you would your best friend, right? The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Could be payday. 63. It's Okay. Dont wake me up yet. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. What a miracle. TikTok video from Mark Winston (@markwinstonbball): "Are you still alive? Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. All rights reserved. Ever wondered: "What if I'm buried when I'm just in a coma?" Comeback for "oh you still alive".. : Comebacks - reddit You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. You might just find one. I dont tell you how to live your life, dont tell me how to live mine thanks. Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. 382 Likes, 344 Comments. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. 5. How do you think that I am doing? You don't want to be rude, but it's okay to give them a little sarcasm by using this phrase. But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. 6. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. Take Your Time. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. Hello, how are you? - Anonymous. funny response to are you still alive - claudiovoiceovers.com 3. Maybe they had a giant project at work and lost contact with all their friends and loved ones. 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! You don't want to give the same, bland answer all the time. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. StyleCraze provides content of general nature that is designed for informational purposes only. but it's just so blunt and funny. 5. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. I cant really complain, but I will still try. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Oh, what a long list. 43. The music billboard charts got it wrong! What should I doI like you too much. Funny as phuck. I'm used to it, anyway. 14. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. "Yeah, you're three years late. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. *licks lips*. I'm alive! Hmmph. Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. No one loves superheroes. The Funniest Replies for People Who Are Always Asked "Are You Okay?" 55. What's your favourite "I'd rather die" response alternative? But still, some people will try to satisfy their curiosity and meddle with your personal life. Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. Let them know that you're itching to go on a date. You were a young man when you last spoke. (Wriggle your hips), Oh, stop it, will you? Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. Totally fine! HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. Is that a scar on your face? Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. Then they throw dirt in your face. 31. 11. My bad, its just your mouth. Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. You dont need to say it. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" Then you die. 90. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. Through humorous musings about Scalia's . 85. I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! "I'm alright, mate". 10 Perfect, Sarcastic Responses To Annoying Humblebrags 4. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. Going strong. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. No? Could Be Better. They really care for you, and you better value their presence well. How to answer when someone asks me, "Are you still alive - Quora Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. funny response to are you still alive - hazrentalcenter.com If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. Relationship expert Susan Winter recommends gracefully leaving as the quickest and easiest way out. Its too small to be out there all alone. Not bad. 10. Unlikely, but worth a shot. You want to make them laugh, not yell. I like being single. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. More like give me a sign that. Yep, thats about it just a confusing answer. Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. 93. This does not seem right. I havent found anyone who matches my kinks yet. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. Impressive! Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! 88. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. 15. I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? can be tackled in some really interesting ways. Im Alive GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY 26. Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. I'd rather answer to a 'What's your favorite "I'd rather die" response alternative' thread on reddit. Are you Jamaican? 13. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. 19 Funny Texting Comebacks To Always Come Out On Top - TextGod.com Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. No, keep talking. [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. Now that is pretty f****** funny. Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. And it's time for me to make my escape. Nice outfit. On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. How did you get here? (This is an awesome response if you want to fluster them and catch them off-guard) So much better now that you are with me. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . However, I dont recall anything about morons. Tell me, how can I face my problems when the problem is my face? As a result, they were so fixated on thinking about you, they forgot to reply to you. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! You just have bad luck at thinking. As for me, I cant even afford honey! Everyday that you're on the right side of the grass is a good day. I plead the fifth. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! Search, discover and share your favorite Still Alive GIFs. I have a feeling that my soulmate is somewhere out there pushing a pull door right now. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. Everyone wants me, but no one dares! Funny give back answer for who are your ex boyfriends? Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. It looks a little too clingy and hard to maintain. 5. Theres too much Ghostbusters texting potential to not take advantage of the pun-tastic opportunity. 1. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. I was actually talking to my friend". Maybe I am a kindergartner? 98. I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. I am not sure what you mean. 3. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. I and others have experienced, on several occasions, that your breath. No, not really. Getting better with every passing second. Yup, I dont share it. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". That's boyfriend material. Because a single-storey is much more economical than a double-storey. 1. count_scoopula 6 yr. ago. I learned my lesson. Despite not being the most popular topic of conversation, the concept of death has inspired quite a few clever and insightful sayings over the years. 38. 20 Perfect Responses To Send When Your Ex Texts You - Vixen Daily And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. But, they will grow up into a dog. Your hair looks great! Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok 1. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? So, how does average sound? On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day! 68. People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" Was that comment meant to offend me? Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? Feel my shirt. . Maybe they like you so much that it triggered some kind of reaction that ended their life. Feeling confident? The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. Although for some, traveling to your partner might not be an option. 75 Witty and Funny Responses to "How Are You?" - Box of Puns If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. 4. That's impossible. Voice command: Alexa, define rock paper scissors lizard Spock. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". 29. Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! 2 I'm Still on the Right Side of the Grass As long as you're still breathing, you can use this reply. (Say it like he or. 4. Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. How are you? This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. It's all about confidence. There are many other euphemisms you could use, though: Still ticking. Most of the time, that is not true. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. 2. The data will take longer to reach Earth than it would if it was sent from someone on Earth. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? 2. At minding my own business? What's your sign? [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. Why would you talk to someone at their convenience when they wouldnt speak to you when you needed them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_2',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. 16. I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! I really thought you already knew. Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. If they are not going to reply, perhaps the archaeologists who discover their phone will. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. Want to equip yourself with more responses? Opposites attract, right? The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." I will leave that up to your imagination. 1. Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. 70. 35 Auto Reply Text Message Ideas: Funny, Professional, Effective You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) 96. . 24. original sound - Tyren Sams. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. "You know I can do this anytime.". If you are, then maybe were meant to be! 45 Funny Memes About Life in 2023 - Happier Human A little bit worse now that youve asked. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. Maybe their roommate was sick. 47. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. You speak as if youre not single yourself! People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. You win the internet. Still with us. When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. Its the same reason why I dont post pictures of myself. Financially? "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage." Lord Byron (poet) Are you flirting with me right now? Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. I'm loved! You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. The hottest single of the year is me. 14. Elon Musk targets Sen. Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep
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